


Deja Entendu

by ryanblazewood



Series: Album Fics [1]
Category: The Creatures (Youtube RPF), goldenblackhawk - Fandom, immortalhd - Fandom
Genre: Album fic, M/M, Song fic, threres a ew mini fics per slbum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:26:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4332030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanblazewood/pseuds/ryanblazewood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Album Fic/Song Fics/<br/>Based off of songs from Brand New's album Deja Entendu.<br/>Each song has a small drabble/ficlet/song fic to go with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tautou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mention of death.

Love is rough.

Love is hard.

One heart beats and the other fails.

Kevin was the the sea.

Aleks was the bridge on fire.

Flames would rise, waves would crash. 

Falling apart was inevitable, but the crashing and fighting that brought them down was not to be expected by either of them.

Love became hate,

Love became death.

"I'm sinking like a stone in the sea. 

I'm burning like a bridge for your body."


	2. Sic Transit Gloria... Glory Fades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is about sex and horrible relationships.  
> Album Fic/Song Fics/  
> Based off of songs from Brand New's album Deja Entendu.  
> Each song has a small drabble/ficlet/song fic to go with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings other than sex and alcohol mentions. It may seem as if it's written as non-on but those were not my intentions, as this was hard to write for.

Kevin was all about being quiet. Not getting caught, leaving no trace of what had just happened. Aleks, on the other hand, liked to show off, be heard by the others neighboring the apartment, and leaving clues everywhere for visitors to feast their eyes upon. Hearts beating in synchronized sin, and muffled moans stifled by rough hands. 

It always started the same. Kevin lying down, Aleks sliding up next to him in bed, remaining motionless. Kevin never initiated it. He only thought of how wrong it was that they started to do this only because he was lonely. Kevin remained mostly silent, save for sighing and muttering “this is so messed up” when alcohol was a factor.

Occasionally when there would be a fight, Kevin would leave Aleks’ apartment to go stay with some of their friends in their shared house down the street. One day it was raining, and he walked in dripping wet, attracting the attention from the three friends and host in the living room. They all had silently noted his look of desperation and aura of depression as he bounded up the stairs to the guest room.

Almost always Aleks would chase after Kevin, ready to apologize and take him back into his own living quarters. Kevin never wanted to take his shallow apologies, but of course, still soaked from the rain and without a jacket, he would stare at the ground by Aleks’ feet,not looking up until Aleks approached the bed he sat on to express just how sorry he was.

Advice would drip from Aleks after these confrontations. “Die young and save yourself” he would tell Kevin, acting as if his words were the wisdom being preached from street corners. Back in their apartment, when their neighbors were asleep, they’d climb onto the roof to smoke and sit in silence. Aleks only repeating himself, “Die young and save yourself” as he offered another cigarette. 

~~  
The very first time they shared a bond like this, Kevin was terrified. Aleks hit the lights, and Kevin didn’t feel prepared in the slightest. He feels like he doesn’t know how to breathe. Aleks smirks and pushes forward, Kevin noting how light and easy his breaths are. 

“This is the first and the last time, Aleks,” Kevin spits, overwhelmed by what he’s feeling. Aleks only smiles in response as he grinds his hips into the younger. 

Kevin didn’t want this. He only wanted innocence, to feel young and free. He wanted to hold Aleks, not fuck, well, not yet at least.

He’s not good at dirty talk, and he can tell because it has no affect on Aleks. He tries to tell him that he loves him, but realizes by how in control Aleks is, he’s probably only looking for sex.

Out of fear for the unknown, Kevin lays still, hands at his sides, allowing Aleks to do as he pleases. He feels sick to his stomach, not used to how anything about this feels, just waiting for his body to react.  
~~

They got drunk after sex sans fighting. No cigarettes or sitting on the cold roof. Blankets and patio chairs were like a courtroom to them, alcohol playing the role of the judge, and fear playing the defendant. 

“Die young and save yourself, Kevin. You’re too good for this world.” Aleks would praise, not sober enough to lie, and not drunk enough to tell the truth.  
"Die young and save yourself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics:  
> Keep the noise low.  
> She doesn't wanna blow it.  
> Shaking head to toe  
> while your left hand does "the show me around."  
> Quickens your heartbeat.  
> It beats me straight into the ground.
> 
> You don't recover from a night like this.  
> A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.  
> A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.  
> Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets  
> barely whisper, "This is so messed up."
> 
> Upon arrival the guests had all stared.  
> Dripping wet and clearly depressed,  
> he'd headed straight for the stairs.  
> No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,  
> unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.
> 
> (Up the stairs: the station where  
> the act becomes the art of growing up.)
> 
> He keeps his hands low.  
> He doesn't wanna blow it.  
> He's wet from head to toe and  
> his eyes give her the up and the down.  
> His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.  
> But the body on the bed beckons forward  
> and he starts growing up.
> 
> The fever, the focus.  
> The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.  
> Die young and save yourself.  
> The tickle, the taste of...  
> It used to be the reason I breathed but now it's choking me up.  
> Die young and save yourself.
> 
> She hits the lights.  
> This doesn't seem quite fair.  
> Despite everything he learned from his friends,  
> he doesn't feel so prepared.  
> She's breathing quiet and smooth.  
> He's gasping for air.  
> "This is the first and last time," he says.  
> She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.  
> He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.  
> He's holding back from telling her  
> exactly what it really feels like.
> 
> He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.  
> She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.  
> Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.  
> He whispers that he loves her,  
> but she's probably only looking for se-...
> 
> (Up the stairs: the station where  
> the act becomes the art of growing up.)
> 
> So much more than he could ever give.  
> A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.  
> He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.  
> He waits for it to end  
> and for the aching in his guts to subside.
> 
> The fever, the focus.  
> The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.  
> Die young and save yourself.  
> The tickle, the taste of...  
> It used to be the reason I breathed but now it's choking me up.  
> Die young and save yourself.
> 
> Up the stairs: the station where  
> the act becomes the art of growing up.
> 
> The fever, the focus.  
> The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.  
> Die young and save yourself.  
> The tickle, the taste of...  
> It used to be the reason I breathed but now it's choking me up.  
> Die young and save yourself.
> 
> [Note: These are the lyrics to the album version of the song.  
> There is also a different version where chorus goes as:
> 
> "The people, the focus.  
> The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to settle.  
> Die young and save yourself.  
> They take all the taste out.  
> It used to be the reason that we're even, now it's choking me up.  
> Die young and save yourself."]


	3. I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapters about past relationships and fearing for the future.  
> Album Fic/Song Fics/  
> Based off of songs from Brand New's album Deja Entendu.  
> Each song has a small drabble/ficlet/song fic to go with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warnings.

Not everything between Aleks and Kevin had been about yelling and Sex. They often shared “desirable” moments, such as taking care of each other while one was sick, or trading coats in the fall months. 

Aleks fell in love with Kevin’s appearance, his mannerisms, mind, soul, voice, etc., he fell in love with everything. 

Aleks also knew that others would fall in love with Kevin. He was just so… desirable.

“If looks could really kill, then my profession would be staring.” Aleks would scoff when strangers looked his boyfriend up and down, only eliciting a giggle from Kevin as he’d cuddle into Aleks’ side. 

Traveling was hard for the pair. Some trips Kevin would decline on going, and others Aleks’ would pitch a fit even suggesting he go. 

They sent each other many post cards because of this. It became joked about that they wrote more postcards than essays for school, and that they’d read more maps than books.

They often talked about past relationships over the phone when they were traveling, it was an odd way to assure that they were stable. Aleks would bring up that he often felt empty with past partners, comparing himself to an “old and abandoned church with broken pews and empty isles”. Kevin would assure him that he would never have to feel that way again, because he was there to stay.

The Massachusetts coastline became the venting place for Aleks when he and Kevin would travel back east for a summer to visit his family. 

An ex-girlfriend had decided that since Aleks had been visiting his hometown, she could show up and win him back over. Obviously once she had seen Kevin she had backed away, but Aleks felt a small bit of remorse for showing malice towards her.

“I can guarantee you that i love you like I’ve never loved anyone, Kevin, but the harpoon is loaded. The cage is lowered. The water is red. I’m afraid of what she’ll try to do.” Aleks worried, sitting down and curling up as he sat on the sandy shore.

Kevin placed a hand on his shoulder, unsure how to approach him in this state. This was the smallest act of kindness but it caused Aleks’ heart to swell as he felt secure and safe with Kevin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics:  
> The time has come for colds and overcoats.  
> We're quiet on the ride,  
> we're all just waiting to get home.  
> Another week away, my greatest fear.  
> I need the smell of summer,  
> I need its noises in my ears.  
> If looks could really kill,  
> then my profession would be staring.  
> Please know we do this cause we care  
> and not for the thrill.  
> Collect calls to home  
> to tell them that I realize  
> that everyone who lives will someday die  
> and die alone. 
> 
> And we won't let you in.  
> Though we're down and out.  
> No we won't let you in.  
> You win, you win, you win.
> 
> I wrote more postcards than hooks.  
> I read more maps than books.  
> Feel like every chance to leave  
> is another chance I should have took.  
> Every minute is a mile.  
> I've never felt so hollow.  
> I'm an old abandoned church with broken pews  
> and empty aisles.  
> My secrets for a buck.  
> Watch me as I cut myself wide open  
> on this stage. Yes, I am paid  
> to spill my guts. I won't see home till spring.  
> Oh, I would kill for the Atlantic,  
> but I am paid to make girls panic  
> while I sing. 
> 
> And we won't let you in.  
> Though we're down and out.  
> No we won't let you in.  
> And we won't let you in.  
> We don't want what isn't ours.  
> We won't let you in.  
> You win, you win, you win.
> 
> And the coastline is quiet.  
> While we're quietly losing control.  
> And we're silent but sure  
> we inventened the cure  
> that will wash out my memories of her.  
> "The harpoon is loaded. The cage is lowered.  
> The water is red."  
> Like you, like you.
> 
> And we won't let you in.  
> Though we're down and out.  
> No we won't let you in.  
> And we won't let you in.  
> We don't want what isn't ours.  
> We won't let you in.  
> You win, you win, you win.


	4. Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sads, alcohol mention, and fighting.  
> Sex is mentioned.  
> Album Fic/Song Fics/  
> Based off of songs from Brand New's album Deja Entendu.  
> Each song has a small drabble/ficlet/song fic to go with it.

“I _am_ heaven sent, Kevin. Don’t you _dare_ forget that!” Aleks shouted, laughing while throwing an arm around Kevin’s shoulder. Not often was Aleks’ in such a happy mood as he was currently. Usually he had to be drunk to even be friendly, but something was up with him today, causing him to be nice and smile at everyone they passed.

 

“Seriously, what is up with you today? Smiling at strangers? Waving at little kids? What the hell?” Kevin questioned his boyfriend, only eliciting a laugh in response. Kevin turned to Aleks puzzled, and watched him close his eyes, in a content, dog-like fashion.

 

“The guys found out.” Suddenly, Kevin fet as is he was on a rollercoaster with 100 foot drop, as his heart found it’s way to his throat. Kevin stopped dead in his tracks, Aleks only attempting to get him to budge.

 

“C’mon Kev, it’s not a big deal. They were gonna have to know eventually. They’re our friends,” Aleks began to babble on as Kevin found out how his legs worked while his heart stayed lodged in his esophagus.

 

“How.” Kevin demanded, confusion crawling over Aleks’ features.

 

“How?” He parrotted, pulling Kevin back into a synchronized walking pace.

 

“Yeah, how. How did they find out?” He pushed again, heart slowly falling back into its natural resting spot.

 

“Well, keeping quiet is hard.” Aleks stated plainly, matching shoulder shrug to accompany his lack of thought.

 

“So, you’re telling me, that because you can’t keep you damn moaning down, one of them heard us, and now they all know.” Kevin huffed, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes out of frustration, and slight relief. Aleks smiled once again, eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

“Can you at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught? You’re beaming because our friends heard us having sex. You’re fucked up, man.”

 

~~~

 

“Kevin, listen: we are entirely smooth, we admit to the truth, and we are the best at what we do. We’re not gonna end this just because of some shitty 13 year old who probably chugs Mountain Dew called us some choice words. We’re fine. Just breathe, please.” Aleks’ voice reached Kevin’s ears, comforting him as he panicked.

 

“I- fine. I just. I wanna believe in us, but it’s hard when people like that exist. It hurts, a lot.” Aleks nodded his head, and turned back to his computer to let Kevin calm down.

 

~~~

 

“This is the reason you’re all alone! This is the rise and fall of our relationship! The sex! It’s only sex! I want more than just sex! I want movie dates, and coffee dates, and, just, anything other than just sex!” Kevin screamed, causing Aleks to step back in legitimate fear.

 

There was silence. Anger hung in the air like smog in a Southern California city. Thick, heavy silence.

 

Then there was crying. Tears running down both faces like it was a race to the bottom of a hill. Warm, salty tears.

  
“I just wanna _believ_ e, Aleks. I just wanna believe in _us_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics:  
> I am heaven sent,  
> Don't you dare forget.  
> I am all you've ever wanted,  
> What all the other boys all promised.  
> Sorry I told. I just needed you to know.  
> I think in decimals and dollars.  
> I am the cause to all your problems,  
> Shelter from cold. we are never alone.  
> Coordinate brain and mouth.  
> Then ask me whats it like to have  
> Myself so figured out.  
> I wish I knew..
> 
> I hope this song starts a craze.  
> The kind of song that ignites the airwaves.  
> The kind of song that makes people glad  
> To be where they are,  
> With whomever they're there with.  
> This is war.  
> Every line is about,  
> Who I don't wanna write about anymore.  
> Hope you come down with something  
> They can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.  
> Holding on to your grudge.  
> Oh its so hard to have someone to love.  
> And keeping quiet is hard.  
> Cause you cant keep a secret  
> If it never was a secret to start.  
> At least pretend you didn't wanna get caught..
> 
> We're concentrating on falling apart.  
> We were contenders, we're throwing the fight  
> But I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
> I just wanna believe, in us.
> 
> Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.  
> We are entirely smooth.  
> We admit to the truth,  
> We are the best at what we do.  
> And these are the words you wish you wrote down.  
> This is the way you wish your voice sounds,  
> Handsome and smart.  
> Oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body  
> That works harder than my heart.  
> And its all from watching TV,  
> And from speeding up my breathing.  
> Wouldn't stop if I could.  
> Oh it hurts to be this good.  
> You're holding on to your grudge.  
> Oh it hurts to always have to be honest  
> With the one that you love.  
> Oh, so let it go..
> 
> We're concentrating on falling apart.  
> We were contenders, we're throwing the fight  
> But I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
> I just wanna believe.  
> We're concentrating on falling apart.  
> We were contenders, we're throwing the fight  
> But I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
> I just wanna believe, in us.
> 
> This is the grace that only we can bestow.  
> This is the price you pay for loss of control.  
> This is the break in the bend,  
> This is the closest of calls.  
> This is the reason you're alone,  
> This is the rise and the fall.
> 
> We're concentrating on falling apart.  
> We were contenders, we're throwing the fight  
> But I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
> I just wanna believe.  
> We're concentrating on falling apart.  
> We were contenders, we're throwing the fight  
> But I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
> I just wanna believe, in us


	5. The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A goodbye letter to on old boyfriend.  
> Album Fic/Song Fics/  
> Based off of songs from Brand New's album Deja Entendu.  
> Each song has a small drabble/ficlet/song fic to go with it.

Dear Jake,

I really do appreciate the time we’ve spent together. I really do, do not get me wrong. However, I must inform you of something I’ve been doing wrong since last August.

As you know, I moved west for work, and I love it here. Mass. is home, but my family is here, in Colorado. But this letter isn’t about me telling you what I love about living here. This is about Kevin, or Tom as you remember him. You’ve seen that he now works with us here in CO. and that we’ve managed to keep up our friendship pretty well for the past few years.And we are now a couple.

Listen, I know that we didn’t exactly break up, but we agreed that long distance was stupid and that this would be an open relationship. But Jake, we gotta officially call this and end. 

I know we had dreamt of getting married. I know we thought of adopting kids along the way, too. And while you might consider the dog we bought together our kid, it kinda feels like a divorce. 

I loved you Jake, and while I don’t love you like I used too, I still love you like family.

I know this might take a while for you to get over, and maybe you’ll hate me, but I needed to get this off my chest. We haven’t talked in a while, so I figured that maybe you’ve already moved on, but if you haven’t, this is a “Yell at Aleks” card kinda like a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card. 

I’m sending a letter because it feels more personal, in my opinion, because my handwriting is like my voice from a pen. I’m sorry. I’m just not gonna waste anymore time on lowercases and capitals.

I love you, man. Talk to you soon.

 

~Sasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics:  
> We saw the western coast  
> I saw the hospital  
> Nursed the shoreline like a wound  
> Reports of lover's tryst  
> Were neither clear nor descript  
> We kept it safe and slow  
> The quiet things that no one ever knows
> 
> [Chorus: x2]  
> So keep the blood in your head  
> And keep your feet on the ground  
> If today's the day it gets tired  
> Today's the day we drop out  
> Gave up my body and bed  
> All for an empty hotel  
> Wasting words on lower cases and capitals
> 
> I contemplate the day we wed  
> Your friends are boring me to death  
> Your veil is ruined in the rain  
> By then it's you I can do without  
> There's nothing new to talk about  
> And though our kids are blessed  
> Their parents let them shoulder all the blame
> 
> [Chorus: x2]  
> So keep the blood in your head  
> And keep your feet on the ground  
> If today's the day it gets tired  
> Today's the day we drop out  
> Gave up my body and bed  
> All for an empty hotel  
> Wasting words on lower cases and capitals
> 
> [Bridge: x2]  
> I lie for only you  
> And I lie well...  
> Hallelu...
> 
> [Chorus: x2 (words from bridge continued in the background)]  
> So keep the blood in your head  
> And keep your feet on the ground  
> Today's the day it gets tired  
> Today's the day we drop out  
> Gave up my body and bed  
> All for an empty hotel  
> Wasting words on lower cases and capitals


	6. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Character death and Suicide mentioned.  
> Addiction to nicotine and alcohol also mentioned.  
> Album Fic/Song Fics/  
> Based off of songs from Brand New's album Deja Entendu.  
> Each song has a small drabble/ficlet/song fic to go with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Char. Death & Suicide.  
> Addiction is addressed.

“I cannot believe you! You piece of shit! I would _die_ for you! That’s how much I _loved_ you, you motherfucker!” Aleks yelled three months ago. Kevin left three months ago. Aleks’ heart turned to stone three months ago.

 

~~~

 

“Hey, this is Aleks’ voicemail! You know what to do after the *beep*” Kevin sighed as his finger hovered over the red “End” button for a second, ending the call he was attempting to make.It’s been 99 days since they broke up, but he missed the sound of Aleks’ voice. ‘One day’ he tells himself. ‘One day I’ll call him’.

 

~~~

 

“Hey, so, I kind of figured you might wanna start talking again. We used to be best friends and I fucked up, fucking up over. I know you’re probably yelling at your phone right now, trying to tell this recorded message how vile I already know I am. I’m ready to start acting like adults again, ready to cut this childish bullshit. I, uh, I called because I missed your voice. It really isn’t the same without you around. This is probably just another shitty day in the life that you’ve been hating for years, and I’m sorry if I made things worse. I remember we used to say I had a heart that's harder than stone, and it hurts to hold on, but it's missed you. Just like I have.” A deep breath. A pause.

 

“Goodbye.” A click from the receiver.

 

~~~

 

“Hey, so, you probably don’t miss me. I’ve been considering moving out of state, to make you feel better, give you more freedom from the pressure. You can keep to yourself and I’ll keep out of you way if I do this, which might help you, I dunno.” A sharp inhale, almost pained.

 

“I, uh, I took your pictures down. I figured you would want me to do this. I also took the liberty of editing myself out of photos of us. I figured you’d also want that.” A slight cough.

 

“I was in you room to dust the other day. It felt like a tomb in there, with how dark and cold it was. I guess that’s just pouring salt in my own wounds, but I’ve never been the best at judgement.” Another cough. A prologue to a desperate tone of anguish.

 

“I just wanna find a solution to this. Please tell me what I can do. I still love you.” Several violent coughs. A throat is cleared.

 

“I forgive you, goddamnit, I forgive you, you bastard!” A sniffle.

“Don’t forget me.” The line goes dead.

 

~~~

 

“He looks so calm when he’s reposed.” Spoke the first man.

 

“He was beautiful if seen seen when he was relaxed. The skin stretched over his bones just right. He practically glowed in the spring, though. Eyes wide and just so beautiful.” Commented the second.

 

“It’s such a shame. He was so fragile and thin. I’m amazed at how you’re holding yourself together. You were the man who loved him, were you not?” Man one questioned, stepping back to examine the guest next to him.

 

“He was the smell before rain to me. And I love the rain more than anything. He-” A hiccup, presumably predicting tears.

 

“He was the blood in my veins, I loved him so much. I only hoped that he would forget about me, instead of forgiving me for what I did to him, what i caused. This mess is all my fault.” Man two shuffled away from the casket.

 

Who knew the last time you saw the man you loved would be at an open casket funeral? His funeral?

 

“Hey Kev, you okay? We can talk if you want?” The sentence came out sounding like a question. A signature James thing.

 

“I, uh. Maybe later. Thank you, though.” Kevin replied, walking in a slow fashion towards the headstone.

 

“It was lung cancer, you know. It got to him. I don’t know when or even where he got the gun or bullets from, though. He never spoke to us about any of this, it was only mentioned in his, uh, note.” A pregnant pause.

 

“They said the bullet didn’t kill him though. ‘Ey said it was combination of nicotine in his system and the alcohol rotting his liver. Guess he just knew it was time. Did you even know he smoked? Or that he was depressed? Or about his alcohol problem?” James asked, out of pure, innocent curiosity.   

 

A moment of flashbacks started. The roof of their apartment. All of the sweaty nights spent on the patio. The motions that seemed natural between the two. Fighting like animals for dominance. Back to the roof. Cigarettes at 3 AM. Small kisses on soft lips. The filter-burned buds scattered and stuck between terracotta shingles. The cries for help hinting at an addiction. The talk of what they’d do if they ever broke up. Their final words in person, “I would die for you”. The reckless nature they both shared. Kevin licked his lips, a small brisk wind making him feel small and helpless.

 

“No,” He replied, hands in pockets, feeling a lighter and familiar square box.

 

"Not at all."

 

He glanced down at the shiny, granite headstone. Inscribed was:

  
  


Aleksandr Marchant

1992 - 2017

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics:  
> If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand  
> Hope you find out what you are; already know what I am  
> And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again  
> You can tell me how vile I already know that I am  
> I'll grow old, start acting my age  
> It'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate  
> A crown of gold, a heart that's harder than stone  
> And it hurts to hold on, but it's missed when it's gone
> 
> Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not  
> I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget
> 
> If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of this state  
> You can keep to yourself, I'll keep out of your way  
> And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down  
> Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out  
> It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room  
> When I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds  
> So call it quits, or get a grip  
> You say you wanted a solution; you just wanted to be missed
> 
> Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not  
> I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget  
> So you can forget, you can forget
> 
> You are calm and reposed  
> Let your beauty unfold  
> Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones  
> Spring keeps you ever close  
> You are second-hand smoke  
> You are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins  
> Holding on to yourself the best you can  
> You are the smell before rain  
> You are the blood in my veins
> 
> Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not  
> I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget


	7. Jaws Theme Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKay this one was really bad and i hate it.  
> Cigarette mention.  
> Death mention.

"Are you leaving?" Aleks asked, stroking his boyfriends arm with his free hand, holding a lit cigarette in the other. Kevin watched his profile as he exhaled, blowing smoke out the car window. He nervously swirled around the peppermint he was sucking on, thinking if the easiest way to spill the beans. 

"I, uh, I think so." Kevin let slide, anxious that Aleks would react poorly. Aleks just nodded, taking another drag. He looked to Kevin, noticing how glossed over his eyes were. Deciding not to comment on it, Aleks continued to nod, exhaling once more. 

"Thought so."

 

~~~

"Nuh-uh, cut that shit with me, Kevin. You knew damn well what you were doing," Aleks condemned his boyfriend, standing up to give off a sense of power.

"You knew exactly what rules you were breaking between us, you knew damn well." Kevin rose, imitating Aleks' stance, shoving him against the wall of their bedroom.

"Oh,shut up! You're horrible to me! You're so wicked!" Kevin argued back, taking in every expression Aleksandr's face contorted into. First comes fear, then rage, and last came hurt. Kevin knew what he was making Aleks feel like a monster, and to be fair, he knew he was being harsh. However, he knew that he was in the wrong. But he liked this feeling of having power over his partner.

~~~

"Remember when we used to fight all the time?" Kevin asked, looking up to meet his lovers eyes. Aleks looked down at Kevin, readjusting his arms around him and letting loose a small smile. 

"I love you."

~~~

"Aleks, stop smoking on the fucking playground. That's really shitty, dude." Aleks shot Kevin a glare as if to say 'shut the fuck up'.

"Really? Kids play here. How are you gonna feel if some kid finds a butt and plays with it?" He continued, Aleks still glaring at him. 

"You want me to stop? Fine." Aleks snuffed the cigarette out on the swing next to him, angering Kevin.

"Okay. Goodbye, asshole." Kevin stormed away, leaving Aleks angry and upset with him.

"Fine! Fuck you too!" Aleks slumped down onto his swing, regretting taking Kevin to the park to talk about their future.

~~~

"I'm calling to let you know i took all your pictures down. You don't mean shit to me anymore. I hope your kids grow up to hate you, you piece of shit." Kevin hung up the phone livid, but content that his ex now knows how worthless he was to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics:  
> In a car outside, we stalk the idle kind.   
> If you're leaving, just let me know.   
> Tobacco and peppermint, dusting for fingerprints.   
> A film in her eyes from the glow. 
> 
> Some rules are made with all intentions to break   
> And she defends it with a warped rationale.   
> And I've seen what happens to the wicked and proud   
> When they decide to try to take on the throne for the crown. 
> 
> [Chorus:]  
> And we learn as we age.   
> We've learned nothing and my body still aches.  
> And you take cause they give.   
> Though I love you and my body it leaks like a sieve. 
> 
> When it got old outside, smoke beneath the playground lights.   
> If you're coming home, just let me know.   
> Sucking on your breath mint, dissected and stuck with pins.   
> A film in her eyes from the glow. 
> 
> Concrete and water, she's looking for her daughter   
> At midnight in torrential downpour.   
> And everything I said about how messed your head is,   
> Was cut up and left in bits and pieces on the cutting room floor.
> 
> [Chorus x2]
> 
> Take the picture from the wall when you think that nothing matters.   
> Take the picture from the plane and it's a long ways to the floor.   
> Cut your finger on the edge cause it's sharper than they told you.   
> Take a leap from out the window cause it's way too far to go through the door. 
> 
> [Chorus]


End file.
